The Daily Rooster

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Dance the Dance of Death

Today I thought I was going to die. Of course, deep down inside you never really believe that you will die, that everything you've ever known would just...who knows. That's the thing. The unknown makes it so unreal, you can't even begin to imagine.

After reading Part III of 1984 all last night, I only had a few hours of sleep and all I could think about was the torture, O'Brien, the betrayal, room 101, and we will meet in the place where there is no darkness.

Before I finished the book I thought it would be a cool thing to say to him, but now that I know where the place where there is no darkness really is, I don't think I should. I wouldn't want it to be a cruel foreshadowing.

The point is, the muscles in my brain were so tight and my heart so strenuous I thought for sure I'd die of a heart attack or brain hemorage. Even though I knew, yeah right, I'm not gonna die. But it was definitely possible, considering we all die sometime, we are all dying, and you just really never know when it will be.

And so, on a whim, I wrote a few things down on a piece of paper. Just a little white scrap I could write a few things and put safely in my pocket. That way if I did die, certain meanings could be drawn out of the white scrap. It wasn't anything profound or visionary, because as you know I was of course not going to die, it was just a few song lyrics and meaningless dribble about my current stressful state of mind.


Oh, fuck it....
Do you believe in what you see
if I die Fuck school
kill the stress from stupid
stuff. iViva la Revolucion!
I've got to ramble.
Ramble on.
Spill the Wine.
This is the end, my only friend.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Lying in My Field of Grass

I thought to myself, what could that mean?
Am I going crazy or is this just a dream
Now, wait a minute
I know I'm lying in a field of grass somewhere
so it's all in my head....

At first it seemed fact. Yes, he kissed me on my forehead.
Then I had to think about it. Why would he kiss me on my forehead? So maybe it really didn't happen at all. Is it possible I could have imagined it? Or maybe it was someone else. Why couldn't it have been the boy lying next to me? No, no, no.
I'm so confused.
What if it was all real? What could that mean?