Drift from the norm.
Be a bit mad.
Loony.
Interesting, fresh.
Some things are so black and white. Life is not black and white. People are not black and white.
There is a big "in between".
Life. Absorb in everything and you might go crazy. Ignore everything and you may become an apathetic whore.
People change. Times change, people don't change. People do change. They get overwhelmed in everything, every day drama. Get some power, and you're a new person. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
I'm really hating paradoxes right now.
Everything is the same.
Even if it is different.
Same difference.
Is change good? There's always a good and a bad. Or a salad. Yin and yang. Or something.
And I just want to jump in the book and be a wizard, or something.
Or dissolve into particles and float everywhere and be inhaled by some being or find my way to a different world in which there has been no possible way to corrupt the world. Or join in with a music note, and feel complete euphoria in sound waves. Travel at the speed of light. 186,000 miles per second. Grow into the earth and become part of a flower. Which gets eaten by some organism which then dies and is decomposed back into the earth. Drink water the dinosaurs drank. Have carbon molecules that were once part of an Egyptian warrior. And all of this is because the world is enough. Endless cycles and everything is part of some huge cycle. While we spin. Around orbit the sun. Nothing lasts forever. All we are is Dust in the wind. Capitalized Dust.
As if anything matters. Everything matters in the great thing of things and butterfly effects.
And life is short so love the one you got. Maybe I'll just stand on a table and profess my love for all of you and everyone because life is short and WHY THE HELL NOT? Because how embarrassing. What will people think when you spontaneously dance because you just feel like doing it. Or stop in the middle of a busy passageway to read the quotes on the wall. And the quotes make a difference in your day. And breathing is easier, and you start relating things and making connections. There are more links in your brain than molecules in the universe.
Jung and quantum physics. The synchronicities that I can never give up.
Tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow. There is always tomorrow. Today is tomorrow.
As if a band can have music etched in their souls. Sounds so right.
Souls.
Soulmates.
Like you can find a soulmate. Out of all the people in the world. Out of all the gin joints. I am the Humphrey Bogart. I root for the underdog because I know I AM the underdog. Like some kind of good feeling comes out of knowing someone else has the same problem you do: not being the best.
Oh how I would love to find that cafe in the city of children where the beach is nice and comfortable hotels and omelettes with coca colas and true loves. Spain? France? Mexico? Southern California? Amsterdam?
As if we could all get high and the world would be in peace. Everyone smoke a joint.
Watching ants couldn't be more entertaining.
And his father died before his and so on and so on.
As if lightning is a good conversation starter. Why do people believe in love? Why does it make life much better? It's the level of belonging humans need so we can move on and be happier later in our lives.
It's like every entry has to do with love. Because it is thought of constantly in everyone. It's everywhere. That guy and girl can't be best friends. At the end of the hour they'll be lovers. They always do. Because we all want to see everyone fall in love and GET HAPPY.
Happiness is a state of mind. That's what people don't get. Everyone wants to be "happy".
Well you know what? I'm happy. Happy I am writing right now.
I LOVE THE STREAMS OF CONSCIOUSNESS. Wow. I am conscious. I think, therefore I am.
If I stopped thinking I would never be. I would be an ant that I would watch. Thinking and not thinking. Following basic natural instincts.
And someone who gets this, I thank you.
It's like the whole being conscious of yourself. The most unique and strangest feeling ever. Then it's gone.
We all die. The only inevitable. Taxes, too. We all pay taxes.
And if you could meditate to another place what is stopping meditation through time. To visit a memory or meet Einstein. Jesus and Einstein.
And we change and adapt and live on until we fall apart.
Again, nothing is forever.
All humans will live their puny lives and think and live and and fall in love and do drugs and regret things and forgive people and the human existence will one day fade and all the landmarks will sit with no bulldozers to take them down so a giraffe will take a shit on your porsche rotting in what used to be streets paved with metophoric gold. And then the sun will die out and life will die out and the universe will go on. And no one or nothing will remember this blog. Or these words. It cannot be referred to. The aliens will eventually die, too. And the universe will expand or collapse into itself and all the other little universes and all of space and everything we thought we knew in some kind of dimensions will cycle into some other form of something else and the truth is we know nothing of anything and we could be living again some estranged cycle of everything repeating and we see some things like a deja vu and other things as completely new experiences but who the hell knows. And somewhere in between will be Judgement Day. How can I believe this? I wish I could be more religious. And focused. And really I should read this every morning to help me through the day. This is the best kind of therapy. A kind of realization of everything. And everyone. There is so much we don't know and we'll all be little molecules, or just molecules because they're little anyway, and we can react with eachother and make compounds like soulmates. Like our molecules were once connected and it felt right and that's why we find our soulmates because of quantum entanglement or something. It feels right to be connected again. To find one another. Or maybe soulmates just have the same interests and enjoy going to hockey games together.
Maybe we're all just seeing stupid shadows. We are. We're all hooked up to some virtual reality and we're all just numbers in a matrix someplace controlled by machines that we created in our own existence.
And nothing is real. Nothing is reality. But this steak I'm eating tastes so good. Ignorance is bliss. You'd be amazed how many Philosophy of the Matrix books there are.
Isn't it amazing that the first theme of everything humans know is that ignorance is bliss? The Garden of Eden is way better because you don't know anything. And eating from the Tree of Knowledge will make everything horrible.
Some inscence and ginsing seem right about now.
Existentialism is so mind bogling to me. If the universe is bleak and everything sucks, why wallow in the sadness? Why not wear tie dye and frolic in the fields dancing and listening to the Grateful Dead? You can blow bubbles and just be happy. There's more a reason to when you know the universe is so dull. Add some color. Soak in the sun. Listen to some good music.
Blast some Led Zeppelin throughout the hills of New Zealand. That's my dream anyway. That and getting my own ice cream truck and handing out free ice cream to people. We're all still kids. Making mistakes and spilling things. Playing all night and waiting all day to play all night.
Oh, the world is ridiculous.
The world is beautiful.
The world is full of infinite sadnessess.
And in all this we find solace in sharing it with someone to love and make love to. Some kind of meeting of molecules that were once separated millions or billions and bajillions of years ago. And it doesn't make sense, and I don't make any sense, or maybe I do.
It's all just commen sense to me. Even though it is completely absurd.
I can't find it in me to stop typing. But all things must pass. Everything sometime or another will come to some end. Only to start all over again.
EVERYTHING IS CONNECTED. Remember that children.
This is what I think about everyday.
